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Writer's picturePatty DiFondi

Getting Married Later in Life - The Beauty of Wisdom




Many people are used to the thought that after college, you get married, buy a house and have children. However, Americans attitudes toward marriage has changed in recent years. Today, many people are getting married in their 40’s or older. We are also seeing more second marriages from those who have been divorced or widowed.


There are many reasons why brides are marrying at a more mature age. It could be this is your second or third marriage, or you are a career woman and marriage wasn’t in your vision for many years, or you haven’t found the right partner until now and didn’t want to settle no matter what age you decide to get married. No matter what the reason, later in life brides are beautiful and have lovely benefits of being a “later-in-life” bride.


You may see that this blog is mainly focused on the bride, and that is because I was a later-in-life bride myself, so I can reflect back on my experience. Allow me to tell you my story.


My husband and I were married 22 years ago. I was 40 years old and this was my second marriage. For my first marriage, I was 23 years old when I was marriage and we went to a Justice of the Peace as my first husband was not into a formal wedding. My husband now really wanted a formal wedding as he comes from a large Italian family and getting married was a big family celebration. I was so excited to plan and execute my wedding with my husband this time around, from ordering the wedding cake, picking out the venue, flowers, and such.  


My daughter at that time was a teenager and I was so thrilled to have her as my Maiden of Honor. This is one of the beautiful benefits of marrying later in life, having your child as part of the wedding party. She was so excited to be my Maiden of Honor and would ask me about what she needs to do for that position. It was really cute.


Since my husband was in the military at that time, our wedding was kind of a hybrid military style. By hybrid, I mean we did not have the gun salute and go through all of the formalities of a military wedding. My husband and his dad did wear their dress blues and we had the reception at the Officer’s Club on the military base. That in itself was challenging because we had to give the front gate guards a list of our guests and they needed to be checked in at the gate.


Anyway, getting back to marrying later in life. I was very confident at my age to pretty much do all of the planning of the wedding. I honestly don’t remember if wedding planners were even a thing back then. Lol. My husband and I were both settled in our lives and ready to make a long-term commitment to each other. We both were years into our careers and financially comfortable.


Being a later in life bride means it is all about YOU and your soon to be spouse. No one is telling you who to invite, what music to play, what dress to get, what bakery to order your wedding cake from. YOU choose! (and your fiancé). You are more sure about yourself and comfortable with saying no to things you don’t want. Also, being more mature, you realize you are more flexible and easy going than ever. You are not going to have a meltdown because the florist did not match the exact shade of flowers you wanted. You are more calm, cool and collected. Because you are more calm and collected, you most likely will not have bridezilla moments. You know that everything is figureoutable. (Got that phrase from Marie Forleo).


With my experience being an older bride myself, marrying at 40, I have the luxury of being in the moment and understanding the needs and wants of a later in life bride.


Looking for a wedding cake maker who “gets you”? Contact me and let’s chat!


See you soon!

Patty

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