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Writer's picturePatty DiFondi

Why It Is Not Good Wedding Planning Etiquette To Ghost Your Vendors

The wedding planning process can be quite overwhelming and a daunting task. It’s supposed to be fun, they say. It’s your special day you are planning for and you should be happy, they say. Now, as a self-starter, I planned my own wedding 22 years ago and I’ll tell you, it’s not easy. Trying to coordinate and choose vendors.



Wedding vendors understand that planning a wedding is stressful and time consuming. Even so, couples still should let businesses know whether they’ve chosen them for their event or not. Or even if they are still thinking about it. Now, I’m not saying that you are obligated to follow up with a vendor if the only effort they made to you reaching out to them was sending you a canned email giving their pricing or telling you to fill out their form on their website and then never contacting you again. They obviously are not making much effort in obtaining your business. What I’m referring to are the vendors who are diligently following up with you for the next steps, such as possibly scheduling a phone call or meeting.

 

By not ghosting your vendors, it doesn’t just keep us from wasting our time, it benefits the couple also. When we get communication that couples are no longer interested in our services, we take them off of our list or close out their file, and they don’t get any more unwanted emails or calls from us. Vendors who are taking the time to reach out to couples more than once are doing so because they know couples are very busy planning their wedding and want to nudge reminders so it puts that task back into the couples to-do list. It is not only poor etiquette to ignore them, it’s just plain rude. A simple reply to an email saying that you are not interested in their services any longer takes less than 30 seconds. With modern technology, you can say to your phone, “Hey Siri, remind me at (insert time) to email back (so and so) vendor.”

 

Here's a metaphoric example. Say you are at work and in a staff meeting. After the meeting you and your fellow co-workers are standing around chatting. You get into a conversation with one of your co-workers about a craft you are working on. Your co-worker is fascinated and says she/he would love to see your work. You mention that you would love to meet for lunch and bring some of your craft work to show her/him. Suddenly, you co-worker doesn’t respond back and walks away from you without saying anything. Strange? Yes. Frustrating? Even more so. The co-worker (couple) made the first move reaching out saying they are interested in seeing your work (or work with you for their wedding). The craft maker (vendor) responds to the co-worker (couple) by a lunch invitation to further discuss the craft (vendor’s business). The co-worker (couple) then ghosts the craft maker (vendor). Poor manners? Indeed.



Don’t have time to type out a response when you are not interested in the vendor? Here are some canned responses that you can just copy and paste into the emails of those vendors you are no longer interested in:

 

  • “Thank you for your time regarding our wedding. We have gone in a different direction.”

  • “Thank you for helping us understand your services. After talking about it, we have decided to go with another vendor.”

  • “Thank you for getting back to us so quickly. We really like your [product or service], but we are going to pass on it at this time. We may want to reconnect later as we are considering things.”

 

The bottom line is when you reach out to a wedding vendor, communicate with them. Even if you don’t wind up hiring them, simply tell them. Believe me, you will not hurt our feelings. As vendors, we are all adults and are running a business. We understand that not everyone is a good fit.


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